Marathon Standby

To: anyone who wants to run a marathon

From: any medically oriented person

Re: marathon training

If you have an existing medical condition and a physician has told you not to run, a marathon counts as running. So don’t do it.

Oh, and before you do 26.2 miles, best you do a few laps around the block – hopefully more than 24 hours in advance.

That is all.

PS nipples are not meant to bleed. And remember, other people have touched the Vaseline before you and will continue to after you. And yes, they put it in the same places.

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